The Mormon Dilemma

"Come, let us reason together," He invites the children of Israel. Accordingly Abraham and Ezra both dared, humbly and apologetically, but still stubbornly, to protest what they considered, in the light of their limited understanding, unkind treatment of some of God's children. They just could not see why the Lord did or allowed certain things. So He patiently explained the situation to them, and then they understood....

God did not hold it against these men that they questioned Him, but loved them for it: it was because they were the friends of men, even at what they thought was the terrible risk of offending Him, that they became friends of God....

A discussion with God is not a case of agreeing or disagreeing with Him - who is in the position to do that? - but to understanding Him. What Abraham and Ezra and Enoch asked was, "Why?"
- Hugh Nibley, Beyond Politics

Just to get off on the right foot, I am a religious LDS member. I believe the Church is true; I believe that the prophets are inspired by God; I believe God is leading this Chuch, and I believe that God had something to do with the push from the Church for Prop 8. But the question I can't seem to get out of my head for God is, "Why, Lord?"

One of the more spiritual moments in my life was understanding the importance of agency on my mission. I remember the story found in Alma, where Alma and Amulek preach to the people in Ammonihah. The people get angry, and they tie the two missionaries up, and force them to watch as they threw all the believers and scriptures into a giant funeral pyre. We know that Amulek's family converted to the gospel; we also know that his own father and his kindred rejected the gospel (Alma 15:16) and that after the incident, Alma "took him to his own house, and did administer unto him in his tribulations, and strengthened him in the Lord" (Alma 15:18). Thus, it seems safe to me to assume that Amulek's own family was most likely being killed in a horrendous way, possibly by his own father and kinsmen.

Is it any wonder then, that Amulek would cry unto Alma, "How can we witness this awful scene? Therefore let us stretch forth our hands and exercise the power of God which is in us, and save them from the flames" (Alma 14:10). His own family was being killed in front of him! But Alma responds with this statement:

"The Spirit constraineth me that I must not stretch forth mine hand; for behold the Lord receiveth them up unto himself, in glory; and he doth suffer that they may do this thing, or that the people may do this thing unto them, according to the hardness of their hearts, that the judgments which he shall exercise upon them in his wrath may be just" (Alma 14:11).

In other words, while they may be in pain now, we often forget there is another act after this life: eternity. The people, being faithful, will be taken up to God and the people who do this will have no excuse to say, "Well, I didn't mean to." They clearly did it. Should God have stretched forth his hand and prevented the massacre, they could use the argument, "Well, I never actually killed anyone. You stopped me before I could, and therefore, my punishment shouldn't be as severe." Because they had carried through with the evil act, they have no excuse to hide behind - they are fully culpable.

Agency - the freedom to choose our destinies - is of vital importance to God's plan, and especially important to Mormon doctrine. We are never forced into heaven; we choose to go there. So vital is agency, that the War in Heaven talked about in Revelation that ended up with Satan being cast out of God's presence was because of his rebellion against God, specifically, to take away agency. While the backdrop certainly was one of good versus evil, the central focus of the plan and the war was agency - Satan's plan was to force everyone up to heaven so not one soul was lost, and then usurp the power of God. Heavenly Father had other designs, however. The casualties were high - one third of the souls of heaven chose Satan's plan and, in consequence, eternal damnation. Yet, God would never force these souls to be with Him; He let them choose still, after they knew fully what consequences followed them for their decisions.

This is why, we argue, there is evil on this earth - God allows all but the most heinous of evils that interfere permenantly with His eternal plan; He lets them happen because of three conditions: 1) There is a life after this, so not all is lost; 2) The Atonement wrought by Jesus Christ has infinite power to heal every wound, to right every wrong, to restore anything that was lost; 3) All men must be able to choose good or evil, and should they choose evil, they must be allowed to choose evil fully, for only then can they be fully culpable of their actions and not be able to use the excuse, "Well, you never actually let me do it, so I never actually did it, and therefore I am not able to be punished for that which I did not do. It would not be just."

"And now remember, remember, my brethren, that whosoever perisheth, perisheth unto himself; and whosoever doeth iniquity, doeth it unto himself; for behold, ye are free; ye are permitted to act for yourselves...He hath given unto you that ye may know good from evil, and he hath given unto you that ye might choose life or death" (Helaman 14:30).

This, we use to justify the horrible conditions the early Saints went through upon the Restoration of the Church. The early settlements had been burned to the ground and looted by angry mobs; the families have been driven across winter snows in Missouri to the malaria infested bogs of Illinois, many perishing on the way; non-Mormons watching the pathetic spectacle recalled that the trail was marked red with the blood oozing from their broken feet; men had been tarred and feathered, and the Church leaders were locked up in miserable conditions in the ironically named Liberty Jail. Here, Joseph Smith finally was led to the breaking point and cried out, "O God, where art thou?" The Lord's response was, "My son, peace be unto your soul; thine adversity and thine afflictions shall be but a small moment; and then, if thou endure it well, God shall exalt thee on high; thou shalt triumph over all thy foes" (Doctrine and Covenants 121:7-8). In other words, "Don't worry. These trials, horrible as they are, are only for a small moment. You'll be rewarded for patience and understanding.

Then, in that same breath, God establishes the way the Church should act in helping people come to Him: After rejecting the idea of the now popular Mormon phrase "unrighteous dominion," God proclaims, "No power or influence can or ought to be maintained by virtue of the priesthood, only by persuasion, by long-suffering, by gentleness and meekness, and by love unfeigned" (Doctrine and Covenants 121:41). This was my motto on my mission, so much I memorized the entire chunk of passage dealing with it. We aren't to force people into the Gospel, or cajole them, or intimidate them, or scare them into it. We do it out of love, out of service, out of long-suffering and patience, out of gentleness, and especially out of persuasion, not coersion.

I understand the scriptures say that homosexuality is wrong, and that as a Church, we should stand for traditional families. That, I can agree with. However, God has rarely intervened into peoples' direct lives because of how important agency is; Sodom and Gommorah is a good one example in which he did, but remember that Abraham objected to the destruction initially. He begged forgiveness, bartering with God until God said if Abraham could find even five people in the two vast cities who were righteous, He would spare the cities. Abraham failed to do so and understood why God felt He had to do this - the cities, as the sciptures would say, are ripe for destruction.

But California is not nearly as wicked as Sodom and Gommorah - the Church prospers there and temples are built all over the state. Yet, Prop 8 is arguably an intrusion into agency. We aren't just saying it's not right, and then trying to build good, wholesome, strong traditional families as an example for others to follow and to gently persuade those who are in homosexual marriage to reconsider their ways, but are actively legislating against it. We are, in essence, preventing agency of homosexuals. And this is where the why comes in.

Why is God doing this? I am not saying God is wrong, but I do wonder why, as Abraham, Enoch and Ezra did, as to the "unkind treatement of God's children." I've contemplated this subject, and I've asked God many times why this one occasion warrents intervention when others didn't. What is different this time around? I am hurt to see people suffering, and this certainly has caused no small amount of suffering, for people on both sides. And I can't help that this is going to be like our polygamy trials of the 1880s for the 21st century, where we are once again castigated and crucified politically and socially for an unpopular stance. So, I ask God, "Why?" Because I'm confused. I know that man's ways are not God's ways, but I cannot help but ask God, in a very sincere way, "Could you please show me your reasons for this?"

So, I open up the floor to fellow Mormons who may have struggled with the decision whether or not to back Prop 8. Do you also wonder why, or perhaps maybe the Spirit has told you the why. Please don't put any comments, for those of you who feel that Church is wrong and your whys of its error. It's a waste of your time, and I will not read or reply to them. I have 23 years of experience in the Church to convince me of its goodness and divinity, and I have considered already the logic of the No to Prop 8, and my personal experience at the moment outweighs any of those arguments. But for those of you who are also sincerely wondering about this decision, what do you think about this recent turn of events? And why do you think God is making it happen?

How Bush (indirectly) defused an international crisis!

Total Nightmare Fodder

The Great Recession-Proof Food/Cooking Experiment! - Day Twenty Seven

Well, sort of. My sister mentioned that it's difficult documenting every single meal you've eaten, and she's right. I stayed strong for about two weeks before falling woefully behind. However, it is a new month, and so...numbers!

This month, we spend a whopping $231.02 on restaurants, $44.12 more than we did before. However, most of our spending in other areas has decreased, causing our budgets to just about equal out (gas is a big one; a drop in gas prices as well as car usage really helped us out this month).

I scratched my head over this puzzle. What factors combined to create an increase in restaurant eat-age when we were actively trying not to eat out? I finally came up with two general reasons.

The first one would be our schedules. Like every other American couple, we have become laden in activities, Dantzel especially. Leaving home around 6:45 am and sometimes never coming home until 9:00 pm, by the time she comes home, dinner time is somewhat late. Usually around that time, we're both tired, and cooking looks unappealing. So we cheat and go somewhere to grab some dinner.

Second is the fact that food is important to Dantzel and I, it's often a form of interacting socially. We rarely ever go to the movies as well as parties. Actually, if we ever go out of our apartment, it's for school, work, running errands or, you guessed it, eating out with friends or together on a date. When food is important to you emotionally, socially and even spiritually, you tend to spend more on it in your budgets.

Of course, combined with the changing seasons, Dantzel and I have been feeling under the weather as well, which makes it difficult to motivate oneself to do anything, let alone cook a meal. We are victims to our own business and poor health.

Exercise, eating healthy and health in general tends to go hand in hand; if you don't exercise, you don't have as much energy, causing you not to cook as much, which leads to poorer health, thus continuing the vicious circle. It's difficult to concentrate on one area of your life without having it ripple through to other areas, and when you neglect one area, it will hurt other areas as well.

Cooking and eating healthy is vitally important to not feeling like crap every day, and so in order to stave off sickness, we will need to double our efforts in cooking right and eating right throughout the day. And so, I'll be trying to document once more on what we're eating, focusing more on just what we eat, as well as how much it costs.

Less about saving money, this whole project has become somewhat a social experiment in how eating and cooking affects the rest of our lives.

"When it comes to food, America has been sold a bill of goods. We've been flimflammed, bamboozled, hoodwinked. We've been tricked into thinking that cooking is a chore, like washing windows, to be avoided if at all possible, and then done only grudgingly and when absolutely necessary. On the contrary, cooking is a vital, spiritual act that should be performed with a certain reverence. After all, we are providing sustenance to the ones we love -- can anything be more important?"
- Kurt Michael Friese

Daily Vinaigrettes